this is your fault {cole/clan/open}

[Ophelia Loup Garou]

I hated being around the clan, I mean, things happened years ago and I should be over it and be on speaking terms with the clan again right? Hah, you don't know the half of it. I left the clan when I was old enough too, never once looking back. I made my way through life, stealing and hurting others before being picked up by a Company(thats what the name was too, the Company) as an assassin. Those that were known offenders who were found innocent when they were actually guilty, they were my targets. Of course, when I had my daughter, I had to make sure she didn't know what her mother was up too, but that was okay. I was making the world a safer place for her. Speaking of which, the next targets I had were a pedophile ring, over half escaped the police but they wouldn't escape me. I followed them, one managed to figure out who I was, and while I was taking them out, I felt something bad was in the air. It wasn't until I reached home that I found out why my instincts reacted the way it did.

My daughter had been raped and tortured before being murdered. My only child, a victim of those who I had tried to take out. Anger rose in my blood so now I found myself outside the clan, staring at the sounds of talking and scents of wolves. Of course, another reason why I hated here, was my uncle, Cole the Alpha, was who I blamed for the death of my own mother. Long story and I didn't want to get into that. Not when I was grieving, again. I came here every year, to the same spot where I could send my thoughts to my mother. No one bothered me there, and Cole knew I went there, so taking the familiar path, and feeling eyes locked upon my, my human form moved fast, not bothering to shift, till I reached the small rock. "I want vengeance but I don't know how. It's more powerful than I can imagine, but he must pay." I would also send my thoughts to my daughter, who would be in the munin too. She knew what she was and was initiated when she came of age.

"My child, I should have done more to protect you." Tilting my head back to stare at the sky, my eyes saw Cole in the trees, the dying light of day still couldn't hide his human form. More anger licked my insides as my body twisted to face him, a defiant snarl clear upon my lips. Because I hadn't planned on shifting, I wore faded jeans and a tee-shirt, both would be shredded if I shifted to my wolf form, but that was too bad. In any case, clothing mattered little. Cole knew my views on what happened to my mother, and to be honest, I had hoped I would have stopped hating him. I guess leaving the clan did more harm on that than I would have thought. "What do you want Cole?" I asked, knowing full well he would probably know what I was doing here. If he wanted to comfort me, he was out of luck. I wanted revenge like a starving wolf wanted food. I would get vengeance, I would avenge my daughter. When my mother died I was consumed by hatred and grief. The same thing was happening again.

[Cole Loup Garou]

As Alpha of the Loup Garou, I am intimately tied to each of them. I feel when they are hurting, and I feel it when one of us moves to join the munin. No matter where in the world they may roam, I feel them, they are my family, my people, and I am pledged to protect them all. Ophelia, my niece by blood and by the powers of the Loup Garou, was hurting. My grand-niece, her beloved daughter, was now with the munin. Though we never truly left the pack, the munin was always with us all, it still hurt to lose the physical presence of a loved one. To add to this, Ophelia still blamed me for her mother's death. I'd often blamed myself, but to be a good leader for my people, I must let go of that blame. I must believe in the will of the gods, in fate, in karma, and in the clan.

Ophelia returned to the Luna once a year, approaching the perimeter, but never joining the rest of us, never venturing deeper into the Luna's confines. It was finally time to address her, her grief was still fresh, and it was my duty to offer condolances. It was also what my heart lead me to do. I waited in the trees, overlooking much of the camp as well as the path Ophelia often took when she came near. Her scent, mingled with remorse, sadness, and loss, came to me on the breeze. Her voice carried on the wind as I stood above her in the canopy of branches.

My heart sank as she snarled up at me. So be it, if she wished to blame me, then I would take on that blame, but I would not let it hinder me. I dropped from the trees, like a stone, landing gracefully on both bare feet. "Ophelia, welcome home." I gave her a curt nod. Though I longed to embrace her, as my niece and as Loup Garou kin, I would not. Now was not the time, but soon. "If it is vengence you seek, then you may have it. But you are not the only one who suffers the loss of her. We all suffer, we've all lost. Do what you feel you must in order to be whole, but do not forsake your family!" I stepped forward, arms reaching for her. "Do not forsake the Loup Garou, for we do not forsake you. Ophelia, you will always be one of us. Just as your beloved daughter will always be with us all. Be not so selfish! I will not have you endangering the clan for something so petty as vengence. But I would see you whole once more. You are greatly missed."

[Ophelia Loup Garou]

Standing with muscles tense and taut, like a live wire waiting to go off, Cole spoke, emitting another snarl from my jaw. Yet I couldn't speak, though part of me wished to laugh. Home? This wasn't home. Not for me, not for over many years. I was enraged, angered and desperate for action. "Yes. I will have vengeance." I edged closer, eyes cold. "No you don't. You barely knew her, and don't give me shes family and part of the clan crap. I know that already." Anger, pure anger ran through my blood, making it hot and thick, my body twitchy with adrenaline that I feared I was going to snap. The wolf inside wanted to run, always calming a run was. To feel wind through your fur, the earth speeding by as your paws carry you from place to place. My daughter would never have that again, never. I swallowed the lump that was easily forming in my throat, staring at Cole with so much hate and anger that it was a wonder he was still standing.

"You don't know the extent of my loss." I snapped, cold fury ebbed with the words, putting an emphasis on the word 'my' which was selfish of me, but she was all I had and besides, Cole didn't have to see it. "You weren't there! You didn't have to see her bruised and broken body, knowing she had been raped and tortured before the bastard took her life!" I bit my lip, overriding the instinct to cry. "I take scum like them out. Its what I do. And one manages to find out where I live and take out my only child, the only family I have left?" I growled and shrieked at the same time, whirling around and kicking a nearby tree, shattering it into pieces on the ground. Breathing heavily and staring at the broken pieces of wood, I had trouble regaining focus. My words of her being my only family left may hurt Cole, and truly I didn't think of him as non family, that kinda slipped out. Even if I hated him at times, he was still flesh and blood. Yet the anger was slipping.

"I didn't mean-" Shaking my head, I laughed bitterly. "What am I meaning these days. You are family, whether I like it or not. I still blame you, one reason why I've never returned fully." Was I really going to say what was on my mind, just to ease his own emotions? "It's hard for me not to blame you. But not matter what, you are still my uncle and I do love you." Wow, to much truth, what happened to the hating and the snarling? Maybe it was the loss of my child that drove me to realize I still wanted my family, to still be part of something. Sighing and running my hands through my hair, I sat down on one of the larger, broken bits of wood, staring up at the sky, feeling lost. Yet the grief and hurt building up, it was more than I could keep in. Instead of being overwhelmed, I began to let the tears go, something I hadn't done when my mother died, not right away, perhaps thats why I carried so much hatred and anger towards Cole because I hadn't done the proper healing thing. "I want her back uncle Cole. I want my daughter back." My voice thick with emotion. I buried my head in my hands.