Motherhood {Tag Mick, then Xander}

[Timber Loup Garou]

It was the 6th morning in a row I'd woken up sick. I lurched out of the tent, behind a tree and vomited until there was nothing left but bile. I spat to clear the acidic taste from my mouth, then leaned back against a tree, sliding down it until my butt hit the ground, it's bark scratching against my bare arms. "Shit." I muttered, knowing that it wasn't food poisoning, or a flu. That left only one option, and seeing as I noticed the slight swelling of my stomach, I knew I had to be pregnant. I was bittersweet about it. Sure I wanted kids, and I loved Xander, he was my mate. But I wasn't sure I was ready for kids. And how was I supposed to work with other wolves, teaching them control while I was pregnant? Would I lose my station as Erato permanently? Hell, even for 9 months I couldn't stand to not being doing my duty. I'd gotten the station in the first place because of my control issues. I'm a control freak, and right now, I wasn't in control. I hated it. Worse yet, once I was positive, how the hell was I supposed to tell Xander? We never used protection, because we were mated, there was no one else in the world for either of us. I guess I knew that sooner or later I'd wind up with a bun in the oven.

I lifted myself up and wandered to the little stream behind our tent, rinsing my mouth out before sneaking back in to grab a pair of pants. A pair of camo print pants was right inside the flap. I pulled them out and tugged them on. They were tighter around the middle, but I could still button them with no problem. I smiled to other Loup Garou as they milled around the Luna, preparing and eating breakfast. When I neared a grill stacked with cooking sausage and bacon my stomach heaved and I bolted for the nearest tree only to dry heave until my stomach ached. "Fuck." I spat again, frustrated. Even the smell of some of my favotire foods were making me sick! I needed to find Mick. As our healer, he was basically our doctor as well. He could confirm what I already knew and partly dreaded.

I headed to his shelter, almost running smack into Arwen since I was busy staring at my feet. "Shit, sorry Arwen. Mick in?" She smiled. "He just stepped out to grab something from Nyta. He'll be right back if you want to wait. Can I bring you some breakfast?" I started to tell her hell yes, then thought better of it. I didn't want to blow chunks on Mick. "Naw, I'll just wait for Mick. Thanks." I headed inside and sat on a footstool, my feet tapping anxiously. I wasn't a patient person. "Yo, Mick. Timber calling Mick, do you read?" I smirked as I connected to him telepathically, joking even though I wasn't really in a comical mood. I was wound too tight and felt like I was about to explode. Normally I'd burn off the excess energy by a heated tussle with Xander that ended up with us in bed. Or in training with other wolves and I worked with them on their control. Shit, did I even have those options anymore? I could kick myself for not paying more attention to Syren when she was pregnant, or Stryker with her twins for that matter. I was always so focused on my job, or Xander, that I didn't bother to pay much attention to the mother's in the clan. I guess that kind of thing comes back to bite you in the ass, and right now, it was still hanging on, it's teeth buried firmly in my rump.

[Mick Loup Garou]

Mornings were normally early for me. Waking up when the sun had first risen with rays spreading through the clan was the perfect time to start on my work, some of the clan often came when no one else was up and as a healer in the clan, I had to be prepared. Stretching my limbs as I had been working most of the morning on various potions and creams, I smoothed out my jeans and jacket before looking over at Arwen, "damn, missing a few things, I'll have to go see Nyta real quickly." I grinned, knowing she was okay with it and kissing her cheek, I ducked out of the tent. Even though some days I was really busy, I always made time for Arwen who was my mate. Hell, we were imprinted, and having her in my life made me so complete, like before I was missing something and now I had found what was lost. "Won't be long." I winked, taking the path that wound its way past Nyta's tent, Stryker was sitting down and they were talking about something.

"Sorry to butt in." I spoke softly as I reached them, earning me a half laugh from Stryker. "It's okay Mick!" She stood to give my a half armed hug, we were in-laws now, family more than ever before. "How are you doing?" I asked, getting feedback from Stryker which was good, nothing major had happened. "Nyta, I need some thyme and rosemary, do you have any in stock?" "Course I do Mick. You should know that, always coming by when your out." Her words were not mean, the smile on her face further proved that. "Sorry about that." I mumbled like a boy getting told off by his grandmother. "Nonsense! Things like this happens. Alright, now where do I put them." She went inside the tent, rummaged around for a few moments when I heard the call in my head, rubbing my temples. "Timber? Reading you loud and clear, I'll be over in a few minutes." Something was hidden beneath the words and messages, and I had a funny feeling what it was.

"Everything okay?" Stryker asked me as I nodded, just as Nyta came out with the herbs. "Thanks Nyta, your a life saver!" I pecked her cheek as she busied herself with her own work, chatting again to Stryker as I pelted down the path, small stones stabbed my feet which wouldn't do much damage, the touch was just slightly annoying though. Reaching the tent, Arwen alerted me that Timber was in the tent, I hugged and thanked her before ducking and entering the tent, seeing Timber on a footstool. Depositing the herbs on the small counter I used, I sat down myself, giving Timber a look over, making sure nothing was amiss. "Hello Timber." I scanned every inch of her body, just a healer thing I had to do since some were a little afraid of speaking first, though this was not the case with Timber. As a healer as well, I had to be tuned in with everyone, detecting a slight sickness or something else. "What seems to be the problem?" I asked, if I spoke about what I thought I knew, she may explode with anger, something I wanted to avoid. For obvious reasons.

[Timber Loup Garou]

I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard Mick nearing the tent. Seeing him enter, I wiped my palms on my jeans. I was so uptight they'd been sweating. "Hey, Mick. Thanks for running back. I didn't mean to tear you away from work, I know you're busy." I glanced up at the herbs and ointments he had laid out, covering nearly all the counter space. "Problem?" I laughed, cocking an eyebrow. "You tell me, O Wise One." I quipped. "Sorry, I'm freaking out. I don't mean to take it out on you. I'm pregnant, aren't I?" My hand reflexively went to my stomach. Before he could answer me aloud, I knew by his look that I was. "Damn!" I stood, pacing back and forth in front of the footstool.

"What the hell am I supposed to do? How can I function as Erato while I'm freaking pregnant? What's Xander going to say? I know what he'll do. He'll be overprotective to the point of not letting me out of the damn tent!" Ok, so that was harsh. Xander wouldn't really hold me hostage in our own tent, but he would be more protective of me, knowing I was with child. "Don't get me wrong Mick, I want to be a mom. But I'm not ready! What if I do something wrong? If something happens to me or this baby, Xander will flip! He'll never forgive me if something's wrong with the baby. I need a fucking cigarette." I sat back down on the footstool with a thump. I hadn't even given Mick a chance to speak. "Sorry, sorry. I told you I was freaking." I hadn't smoked for 3 years, and right now I was practically dying for a cig. I wouldn't smoke though, it wasn't good for the baby, let alone for me.

"Mick, help. What the hell am I supposed to do? Can I keep training the others? Can the clan even function properly without an Erato? Is Cole going to demote me? Fuck!" I slammed my elbows on my knees, hands finding my hair and gripping it roughly, close to my scalp. I felt like I was going out of my mind, and I was pretty sure it wasn't horomones just yet. Half of me really wanted Xander here. I know he'd help me through this. The other half was scared to death to even tell him. I lived for being the Erato. I loved my job! I got to be a total bitch to keep others in line, and being a control freak myself, I was able to excercise that part of myself with impunity dealing with newer wolves. What good was I to the clan if I couldn't continue on as Erato? I looked up at Mick, blatant worry in my eyes.

[Mick Loup Garou]

"Hey no worries. Its fine. Somethings up." I commented, half smiling and nodding at her quip. That was Timber for you. Tough, strong, and loyal where her main traits, not to mention seriously hating to lose control. "Feel free to do so, sometimes that can help." I had others taking things out on me when they were freaking, this was no different and really, it didn't phase me. As a healer, you had to expect this, if you got upset from this, then you are in the wrong line of work. When she asked if she was pregnant, I gave her the look and nodded. "Yes, you are." Leaning back, I allowed her the time to freak and vent out loud before I had my say, it was needed and I didn't want to upset her further or interrupt when she wasn't ready. So many questions to answer, but I knew what the answers were. Being Duke meant I had a little bit of knowledge with how these things work, not as much as Cole who was the Alpha, but some which I was more than happy to share.

"Freak all you wish, you have that right. And I will help you." I stood, pulling together a few ingredients to make a special concoction for Timber to drink. It would help calm her down, and if she had morning sickness, it would take care of that too. Water, herbs, mint for taste, I simmered the herbs in the water for a few moments, muttering a simple spell to keep the water at very hot temperatures, but if anyone spilled it, it wouldn't burn. Took my years to think of something like that, when we had young pups running around, the last thing we wanted was them to get hurt. "Xander will be more protective yes, but you will be surprised at his attitude." I knew Xander wanted to be a father, he often spoke when we cooked elk on the fire. Plus he wanted no one else but Timber to be the mother. I hadn't repeated what he said, since it wasn't my place to say anything. Which was why now, I had no problem at least letting her know a small bit so it would hopefully help with how she was feeling.

"You have Xander, me, Syren, the others. You won't do something wrong. Stryker thought the same thing." I patiently spoke. "And no, he won't. No matter what, he will still love you, care for you. Even if something is wrong, he will always forgive you. It's not your fault." I doubted anything would be seriously wrong, maybe something different but that was okay. Lucy was different with an additional ability, but this baby she was carrying, I could prevent anything too major. "Cole will not demote you. There are ways to keep training the others without you having to leave your post. Of course, later on you will need to step back, but there are ways around that." I didn't know much of the Erato and Eros positions, they were new for me since I was a Duke and healer, not an Eros but that mattered little. "Your position, and Xander's is important, but things like this have happened in the past and we have continued without too much problem until the Erato could return. You will never be demoted for something like this." I took a deep breathe. "If you need to shift, there are magicks to help, that you must do. A wolf body isn't adapted to carry a human baby, the magicks will force the baby to shift too. It will hinder your own ability to shift at will." I was only retelling facts and to assure her hope was not lost.

Swirling the liquid, I poured that into a cup and handed it to Timber. "This will help, with calming and morning sickness although you don't have to drink it if you don't wish." Taking a seat, I vowed to do everything in my power to help. Yes I did this with others, but Timber was pretty worried, more so than what Stryker had been. Hmm, I would have to get the two to talk one day, it may do Timber some good.

[Timber Loup Garou]

I gave Mick a look. "Yeah, flipping my lid is just fucking great. Mick, you know how I am. This is not being in control!" I held my arms out, as if just by looking at me you could tell I wasn't at my best. Ok, sure, it was that obvious, but if anyone were to say so, they'd end up flat on their ass for it. "How's it supposed to help, huh? Tell me that. How the fuck is freaking out like this supposed to help me or the baby?" I knew that when in the womb a child was suseptible to the mother's emotions, and right now, my little boy or girl should be doing somersaults with a wound up as I was. "Stryker did? Really?" Alright, that made me feel a little better, but she had Arya before the twins, so she can't have freaked out that bad. I'd have to catch her later and maybe she could help me chill the fuck out.

"You're right. I know you are. And I'm sorry I'm losing control like this. It's freaking me out just as much as being prego." Of course things like this had happened in the past, and I knew my place within the clan was important. After spending years wrapped up in hustling drugs and running cars, having a position of importance in a clan this size meant the world to me. That, and Xander. I was a leader, even then, but now I used my strengths in a way that was healthier and promoted the same for others. What I did now was a far cry better than how I was in my old life. I nodded. "Yeah, I know that too. I just....I can't think straight right now, you know? I can handle not being able to shift at will without a spell. Especially if it keeps the baby safe." Even if I hadn't known that bit, it was pretty much common sense to figure that a wolf with a human baby in it's womb just wasn't going to work.

I took the cup from Mick. "Oh you can bet your ass I'm drinking it! I'm sick of being sick every damn morning." I tilted the cup up and drained the liquid. If not for the mint, it would have been too bitter to chug that fast. "Do I have to drink this every morning? I mean, that's cool. I just wondered if that was the case, cause if so, I want you to stock me up." I liked food, I enjoyed eating, and having our awesome Luna breakfasts making my stomach turn every morning just pissed me off. Already my stomach had settled and I didn't feel so anxious. I smiled up at Mick. "That shit's good! Well, it tastes like minty flavored crap, but it works. Thanks Mick." Of course it worked. Mick knew what he was doing. "Ok, magick no-sick drinks until the morning sickness passes, spell induced shifting, and easy training at least until what, my third trimester? Then I suppose it's bench warmer for me, coaching from the lines and all that. At least until I give birth." My eyes popped open wide. "Holy shit! I have to give birth!" Sure it was a little under 9 months away, but I'd never really thought about the concept of squeezing another person out of my body. I wasn't a stranger to pain, and I had a high tolerance for it, but from what I'd heard, you never, EVER forget the pain of childbirth. Suddenly I was starved. I was still scared, but I wasn't as freaked as I had been. I had 8 + months to worry about the actual birth part. Right now, I wanted some of that sausage I'd passed earlier.

Before I could ask Mick if I could grab some food before we continued, Arwen popped her head in with a plate heaped with food. "Thank fuck! Arwen, I take back what I said earlier, I need food." She smiled and handed me what was obviously her plate, kissing me on the cheek. "Eat up. And congrats." She winked at me as I stared, open mouthed, a piece of bacon halfway to my mouth suddenly frozen in midair. "You knew? What the hell?!?" She laughed, tossing her head back. "Come on, Timber. After my sister, and being with Mick. I can smell it. Don't worry, it's your perogative to tell the others, not mine." I gave her a half grin before shoving the entire strip of bacon in my mouth. "Yeah, thanks." I mumbled around my food as she walked back out, presumably to get herself another plate. I started stabbing eggs with the fork and looked up at Mick. "So, how far along am I? Do I have to have regular check ups and shit?" I shoveled a forkful of eggs in my mouth, scarfing down my breakfast now that I could finally eat without fear of yakking it all up minutes later.

[Mick Loup Garou]

"No, you ARE in control. Your body may not be but your mind is." At least until her hormones took over, but I wasn't about to say that and get her riled up even more. "Freaking out is better than holding in the emotions. Vent a bit, it's doing better than keeping everything bottled in." Man, this was difficult to not shake some sense into her, it was hard to see pack mates like this but I stayed where I was, keeping watch in case she did something more drastic. "Yes, she did. Sure she had Arya, but, it was different." I didn't know if Timber knew that Stryker didn't actually remember anything because of that rapist who drugged her and other shit, but it wasn't my place to say if she didn't know. Stryker would know instantly about Timber if they got into contact, I just hoped that nothing bad happened, no fights break out or anything. That was what I needed need, although I was sure Timber wouldn't do something so stupid to pick a fight with Stryker.

"Losing control like this is natural." I waved away her apology, it wasn't needed anyway. Roles reversed, I would be acting the same so I couldn't get all upset over it. I simply nodded when she spoke again, allowing myself not to speak until she was ready in case I interrupted her thinking of thoughts she wanted to think of. I busied myself in tidying up the table a little bit, sorting through the thyme and rosemary, setting them aside to use a little bit later, while some mint leaves and lavender were sitting next to the bowl. "Hmmm?" I turned my head, dark hair slipping past my face. "Yes, you can take it everyday." It would work better anyway, having just one would eventually leave her system. "But you don't have too. Every few days would work too." Our systems were too strong for it to stay in for longer than a few days, one reason why if we took painkillers or something, we needed a stronger dose. One of the perks of being a werewolf.

"I'll make a batch. And no problem." I chuckled softly, preparing to make another batch as soon as possible when I heard a mental message from Xander. He was on his way. "That is correct." I was half listening and have trying to figure out how far Xander was in reaching the tent, when she seemed shocked. "You can. If things get complicated, we will have to intervene. But with a healer, and Nyta, along with Syren, you will be fine." Pain would be terrible, but worth it even though I'd never gone through it myself, I'd heard it was very extremely painful and admired those who gave birth. "Hello Arwen." I smirked as she spoke, seeing the look on Timber's face. "Yes, we will not say anything, that is up to you. As for how far along you are, judging from everything, I would say one month, two at the latest. As for regular check ups, yes. That would be best. That way we can keep an eye on things." I felt Xander saying he was near and looked directly at Timber. "Xander is coming, hes just about here. Sure enough, Xander poked his head in moments later.

"Timber, everything okay? I didn't see you anywhere so-" Evidently he was worried but relief flooded into his eyes.

[Timber Loup Garou]

"This doesn't feel like bing in control to me." I started cutting into a large biscuit covered in gravy. Ok, so I had to talk with Stryker, drink that stuff every other day or so, and go easy on shifting and training until the baby was born. I had a list, and I worked well with a solid plan, but I didn't feel any fucking better. Aside from the nausea being gone, thank the Munin for that! A couple months at the most, I could deal. The sooner it was over and I had the baby, the sooner things could return to normal. Or some semblance of it at least. I hoped.

I nearly choked on a chunk of sausage, coughing and sputtering. "What? Now? Fuck! I'm not ready! Shit, shit, shit. Crap!" I was barely working on accepting this myself and I had to tell Xander, but aside from blurting it out, I had no clue how to go about it. My head snapped around as Xander peeked into the tent. I couldn't help but smile, I loved him so damn much. But were we ready to handle a baby? "Hey baby. Yeah, I'm fine. I was just, uh, you know, hanging out with Mick." Shit, I'm a terrible liar, and seeing as I never lie to Xander, he'd see right through it. I met his eyes and damn near melted on the sopt. "I'm...I'm pregnant." I shot my eyes back down and picked at my food. Suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore, and that wasn't normal.

I put the plate aside, trying not to look at Mick or Xander until I couldn't bare it any longer. I turned to face Xander, hands planted squarely on my knees. "I can still work. Mick's hooked me up with a potion to take care of the nausea. I've been sick every morning for 6 freaking days. I knew I was pregnant, Mick just confirmed it. I've been wondering how to tell you, freaking out over the whole damn thing." I wanted to throw myself on Xander. To wrap myself around him and cry, but I never cried. I hated crying. It meant weakness. Instead of crying, I usually just got pissed. I just wanted to be with Xander, to clear my head while he held me close. Fuck, this wasn't how I planned this. In my mind, we would have waited until we were both ready, then planned the pregnancy and moved from there. There was no way in hell I'd do anything to ruin this pregnancy. Now that I had a baby on the way, I was determined to keep him or her, even though they came earlier than expected. Everything happens for a reason right? Stupid cosmos, thinking it can take away my control over my life. I needed to kick something.

[Xander Cage Loup Garou]

Mick was silent as I strayed inside, staring around with white eyes, I could see but people thought I was blind. Something was up, it was in the air, something, yet I couldn't quite place a paw onto it. "You never hang with Mick. No offense." I threw up my hands in mock surrender as Mick chuckled. "No offense taken." Okay so that was good, yet I stared back at Timber, worried. She never lied to me, although I figured if she did then there would be a good reason. When she spoke again though, the world seemed to melt away, time seemed to freeze as I stared, open mouthed, heart hammered. Turning to Mick, I saw his expression, and for once I was glad Timber had gone to Mick for this, it didn't bother me. He was one I trusted so her going to him made me smile inside, although the outside, mainly on my face, was disbelief, shock. Amazement. The usual to finding out your mate was pregnant with your own child.

"You are? Timber, thats awesome!" A big wide grin spread across my face as I bent down, kissing her forehead. "Hey, its okay baby." I picked her up, pulling her into a hug and keeping her close, but careful not to squash her stomach. "Look, I'm here for you. Every step of the way." I promised, never would I leave Timber to deal with this alone! This child was my child too, we were in this together. And I was going to be a father! I dreamed of being a dad, and soon, well in around 8 months or so I would be. A tiny, precious bundle of life. "Next time though, don't be afraid to let me know. I was worried when I didn't see you around." I had left the others waiting to check on Timber, which I knew I wouldn't be reprimanded for it, but I would finish helping them with control later. Right now, Timber needed me, I wasn't going to leave her unless she ordered me too. Wrapping my strong arms carefully around her, from the corner of my eyes I saw Mick slink from the tent to give us time alone. "I'm here, its going to be okay. Well, as much as it can be. But we'll do fine Timber." I didn't want to make her angered or too volatile so I shut my mouth.

[Timber Loup Garou]

I can't even begin to explain what a relief it was to hear and see him light up at the news. "Damn right you are." I clutched at him. Of course he was going to be with me on this. Like I'd let him get away even if he wanted to. Ha! Not in the lifetime! "Sorry baby, I just freaked." My appetite was slowly returning now that Xander knew. The world felt like it was back on course, if a little tilted. My hands traveled up and down his back as I leaned into him, my cheek resting against his chest. I belonged right here, just like this, in his arms. Always. I took one of his hands and placed it on my stomach, holding mine over it. "We did this. We made life." I smiled up at him, finally calm enough to find a glimmer of happiness about the whole thing.

Mick had slipped out, giving us a moment alone. That man was almost too smart for his own good. He and Arwen made a great couple. Shit, she'd been pining over him for years, even I could see that much. And watching him around her before they hooked up was like watched a starving dog hope for scraps from it's owner. Ok, bad analogy, but you get the idea of the longing there. It was too soon to feel the baby moving, but I swear to the moon and back it did. With both of our hands touching the barely noticable swell of my belly, I could feel the little lump twitch. Only on the inside but still. "Whoa. I think...I mean, it's way too early, but I swear she just moved." I stopped. Wait, what did I just say? I just said she. It felt right.

"I gotta sit down." I stepped back and sat on the footstool, eyeing my breakfast that was slowly getting cold. I picked up a piece of bacon and chewed it thoughfully. "I dunno how, but I know it's a girl. Like, just now." I picked up the plate and handed it off to Xander, snagging another chunk of sausage. "We're gonna have our hands full, you know. And I don't just mean balancing our jobs with a baby. I mean the baby herself. She's part of you, and me. Now, we make a great match, I've always thought so, but a mini...us? She's gonna be hell on wheels. Or paws." I laughed, thinking of just how much spunk this little tyke was gonna end up with. Oh yeah, we were definitely in for it.

[Xander Cage Loup Garou]

She was fast getting back to her usual attitude, which calmed me down more since I did worry for her. "I couldn't leave, even if I tried. I belong here, with you, and with the baby." Yes, it was right, it felt right, and it was amazing! "Hey, its understandable." I whispered, running my hands up and down her back, a soothing gesture I normally did when she was freaked out or we were alone, or whatever. A normal thing for me to do, and I drew comfort from the touch too. Feeling her take my hand and placing it upon her stomach, I could feel the life vibrations. My senses tuned in almost instantly, a heat rush wove through my body, doubling as Timber's hand was over my own. "We did." As a Loup Garou, a werewolf dipped and steeped in magick, we could feel what humans could not. The child in her belly was healthy, as the parents, we were tuned in much deeper than the others in the clan, except for Cole, but that would only be when she was born. Timber, being the mother, would have the strongest tune in sense.

"We are more in tuned with things humans call mundane or don't understand, so that is believable." Man, I would so have to chat with Midian, he was a father, not only to Arya but to the twins, Taysha and Morgyn. "She? You mean, we are going to be parents to a daughter?" My eyes lit up more, just imagining helping, me and Timber, helping our daughter shift and learn control, run through the forest, hunt, a family. I would be protective over her yes, like any father, she would be strong and I could picture her being troublesome. We had been troublesome in our days, it seemed likely to have her do the same. Yet, I wasn't worried, I looked forward to it. I was going to be a father, this had better not be a dream. Really. I would kick some ass if this turned out to be a figment of my imagination. "She will be a handful, though we will be the proudest parents." I think my eyes misted over, a look only reversed for those I truly loved. Timber, and now my daughter.

"You okay?" I asked as she began eating, resisting the urge to chuckle. We both loved food so she was probably snippy when she hadn't been able to eat because she was sick, something I did miss but part of me was glad. Others being sick wasn't something I liked being around you know? "Yea, probably karma for all the things we did." I laughed softly, running my hands over my hairless head. "Kidding, but life I think, its going to get even more interesting with our daughter running around, causing trouble." And I couldn't be more happier.