crazy they call her `` syren

[Amanda Loup Garou]

Running, there was such freedom in the sense, such unbound and such inhibitions when you run and know you can keep going, that you don't have to turn back. The sweetest feeling is the wind ruffling through your fur, messing up the delicate strands but its just you and the world, perfect freedom, perfect way to think out plans and focus on emotions. Running was good in more ways than one, allowing muscles to be worked on as you pushed yourself to the limit, tongue rolling from your mouth as you power on the speed. Oh yea, nothing beat that. I was head only by a few moments, alas I shouldn't be alone and the others agreed, although I could take care of myself, somehow they didn't trust me, or didn't want me to get hurt. Either way, as I ran back towards L.A with a few things on my mind, I was surprised at who offered to run with me. For a moment I thought Lita, we were companions but in a twisted of ironic fate, the one person I was running with was none other than.

"Not much further." I panted, directing my thoughts to Syren. Yes, Syren, the Lupa of the clan and my supposed mother. Yea, thats a long story, and kinda confusing and this is supposed to be my life and I still can't really come to grips with it even though it has been a few hours since I found out. Lita would probably be annoyed we ran off without her, she was my companion after all, but Syren would probably let the others know, since I probably wasn't going to say much myself. All I knew was my new family since Syren decided to educate me on our way. I had two brothers, Midian my eldest and Synge my youngest making me the middle child. Midian and his mate had a daughter[long story there] so that makes me an aunt, not to mention having two sisters in laws since Stryker, my brothers mate, had a sister Arwen. She was mated to Mick, the Duke and the one I nearly snapped at earlier. And then there were the others in the clan, family related or not, and most I didn't have to meet or talk to since Syren knew my apprehension on others. And yes that does get confusing. Try to keep it all in your head while running to your own hell.

Anyway, we reached L.A, mostly the housing distract which in this form, stunk. Really. Rubbish everywhere, filthy and disgusting, from that moment that reek hit my nose, I knew I would never live in the city again. I felt sick but continued my way, carefully nearing a place I once called home, the small white house lay before my wolf eyes, the sounds of an argument, the sounds of breaking glass shattering and hitting the floor. If I was human I would have blushed, humiliated by my old home. "You have to shut up. No speaking. They probably never knew what happened to me or that I went missing. I have to grab a few things, feel free to follow I don't care. Just don't make a sound. Yet anyway." My father was home, I could tell by the vocal sounds coming from the house. The arrogant, smarmy tone along with a shriller, high pitched tone that was my mother. Er, my non real mother. Yea, I doubt I'll be able to keep up, this just kept getting even more confusing.

Going around the back, my paws hitting the grass with soft movements, I reached the back, shifting to my human self and pulling jeans and a red tank top off the clothesline. Ack, this place was the pit of evil, in and out, grab a few things than I never have to come here again. Pushing the door open with a creaking sound, I froze as the argument died off abruptly, knowing I was in trouble. Since my 'mother' ignored me, it came as no surprise when my 'father' was at the doorway, cold eyes glinted as I shut the door behind me so he didn't see Syren. She would have to find another way, I would be killed on the spot if he saw her. "You were missing. Where the fuck were you." He pointed a knife at me when my 'mother' shouted from the living room. "Who is it?" "It's me, Amanda." Rolling my eyes, I knew the instant that was done that it was a mistake. Being grabbed by the arm, I was swung into the wall, debris raining down on my from the impact.

Dizzy, I felt the fist connect into my jaw, but this pain was nothing compared to having a Jaw Splitter device upon your head, all I felt was the sensation of moving my jaw too fast. Reeling from both attacks however, I ducked, heading towards my room as I heard them converse. I heard snippets of 'worthless' and 'attention seeker' not to mention 'crazy psychopath' which appealed to my inner nature. There was more, but I tuned them out before rummaging through my draws for clothes, and the old teddy bear I stashed here when they were away on holiday. Then I heard the yells and it felt like I was a little girl again, about to be locked in the cellar. Terrified, I screamed, diving into my closet and shutting the door, natural instinct. It was like nightmares all over again, the piece of glass I had salvaged was still stuck to the wall via sticky tape where I grabbed it off, slicing into my skin, again it was just natural instinct, and since I couldn't deal with stress and emotional pain, this was my outlet. Even though I was a werewolf, a Loup Garou, going back to a place you call hell, where nothing but abuse and pain happened and you slip back. In that moment, I felt like a child again, terrified out of my mind, and memories from my childhood surfaced, they seemed so real I couldn't decipher what was real and what was memory. I was foolish for leaving Syren outside and I called for her, daughter to mother. "Mother!" That call was to Syren, not the cocaine addicted, drunken woman in the living room. As I called, a swirling mist surrounded me, whispers of many echoed through out the closet as heavy footsteps thudded closer. Gathering up my strength, arm bleeding, I remembered that I was not helpless. Even though I could change, all I wanted was my mother. Together we would do this, not alone but together. Besides, jumping out now would just impale myself on that knife.

[Syren Loup Garou]

Though Lita had grown attatched to Amanda, and wished to accompany her to Los Angeles, she consented to let me run with Amanda. After all, it would give us some time together as mother and daughter. Lita would still roam far and wide with Amanda, but this run, her return to her other family, was mine as well. Perhaps I wanted to see for myself the dispicable people who'd raised her, or rather who didn't raise her. She'd have been better off born from my womb. I resented them, and Zane for his magicks that stole Amanda from me.

I ran behind her, unusual for the Lupa, but she knew the way. Amanda was....damaged for lack of a better word, in some ways. I was careful to tred on eggshells with her at times, so as not to trip her over-sensitive trigger and drive her into madness. This was one of those times. It took great resolve for me to stay behind. I swiped a paw at my nose as we neared her old home. The stench was powerful. Rot, disease, filth. The taint of the city assaulted my nose, no doubt doing the same to Amanda. She gave me instructions, and again, I was forced to obey. "Alright, if you wish it." I hated being left behind, left out. But I would respect her wishes. I shifted as Amanda had, and waited behind her at the back door. Shouts and screaming obscenities floated from inside, making me grimace.

I stayed out of view as she opened the door. The sudden silence was deafening. I could smell old blood. My pupils dialated and I was able to focus on old splatters on the walls of the house. And this was outside. One could only imagine the inside to be much worse. I was so focused on what I was seeing and smelling outside that I'd barely heard Amanda speaking to them. A crash startled me into leaping around, a growl emitting from my throat. Then the insults flew again, this time at my daughter. I threw her wishes aside. I was NOT standing by out here while such chaos continued inside. It was time I shared a few things with her biological parents.

The Munin needed no coaxing to rise within me. I didn't morph into the half wolf, half human monster. Instead I simply drew strength into me. My body, my mind, and my spirit filled with the strength and wisdom of our ancestors. Their anger boiled within me, mixing with my own rage. You did not treat others in such a fashion in the Loup Garou, and never your own kind. It was unfathomable that a parent would speak of their child in such a manner, blatantly where she would hear. And the use of physical force send me over the edge. I placed my hands on the door and with a roar of triumph and rage, the door caved in, falling with a loud crash to the floor. I stepped onto the door, glaring, snarling, and into the kitchen.

"Who the fuck are you and what the hell are you doing in my house?" The drunken, red-faced man yelled. The woman screamed. Glass crunched underfoot, but I paid no mind, Amanda's blood called to me. I growled, charging the man, my hand wrapping around his neck. "Where is she? What have you done to my daughter?!?" My voice was edged with angry power as my hand gripped his throat, elevating him higher and higher up the wall until my face was level with his bulging belly. He gaped at me, mouth moving but no words coming forth. I shot a menacing look to the woman, cowering in the corner. She pointed to the hallway. "In...in her room...." She stuttered to me. "Stay." I commanded as I dropped the man. That one word held magick, trapping them. I heard then, the one word I'd longed to hear from Amanda's mouth. She called for me, and not by my name. She called for mother.

I ran through the hall and burst into her room. Old though the scents were, it smelled strongly of Amanda. The scent of her blood, however, was fresh. "Amanda? Amanda!" The closet, the scent of blood was heavier there. "I swear to Mother Moon I'll kill them if they've hurt you!" I ripped open the doors and found her there, on the floor. A bloodied shard of glass in one of her hands, on her other arm, a fresh cut. So, it was self-inflicted, but still I felt anger toward her parents. It was their behavior that lead her to this. An angry, red welt was forming on the side of her face. I sucked in a breath as I reached for her, turning her face to one side. "Oh." I wrapped her in my arms, letting the power of the Munin flow from me and into her. "They will pay." I stood, one hand entwined with hers, lifting her up with me. "The time has come for retribution." Still, my voice echoed with that strange power as I lead Amanda from her room to face her parents for the last time.

[Amanda Loup Garou]

There was yelling, crunching of glass as I raised my hands to my head, placing them over my ears to try and stop myself from listening. Instead I rocked back and forth, trying to stop myself from shaking with absolute terror, the wolf inside lunged, it wanted out, to destroy those that hurt me, to suffuse itself to protect me. In a way, we were apart, yet together at the same time. The air seemed to shimmer, a ghostly appearance faded in and out, bright, then dark, coursing around my legs and body as if giving me strength and warmth, the blood ran down my arm thickly, spilling hot crimson liquid splattering on the carpet floor. Scuttling backwards, pressing myself into old clothes that were hanging, a low, dangerous growl tore through my throat, ripping at my vocals while my mind shifted between emotions with dangerous speeds that it was about to make me snap. And not in a good way. Reaching up and tearing an old jacket from its hanger with a loud banging sound, my pupils held such hatred that sought its way through my system.

My mouth was full of sharper teeth, canines on each side as I started morphing into the wolf already, my anger, my consuming hate, it overrode everything else while kicking my back legs into the wall, sending debris falling along with dust, littering my clothing. Then, bright light as the door was torn open and my mother, not that bitch out there but my real mother, Syren, stood at the door, reaching forwards. Flinching as her hand touched my cheek, turning my head so she could get a better look, it took all my energy not to start bawling like a baby. "Least he didn't break any bones." I growled, acting tougher than I was, trying to be brave as Syren picked me up in a hug. Knowing she wasn't going to hurt me, I relaxed against her side, sucking in the air as if it was getting harder to breathe, my limbs shaky while I stood upon my legs, still fluctuating between the human, and wolf changes.

Feeling the power flow through me like an unnatural light, warming my blood and clearing my head, the wound on my arm started healing as I dropped the blood stained glass, clattering on the floor below as my heart pounded. "They will pay." I repeated, holding tightly onto her hand while we moved back down the hallway, side by side as mother and daughter. Reaching back into the room where they were sitting still, I stared at each one, holding up my hand so I could speak. "As parents, you were supposed to help me and love me, instead you abused me, ignored me and made me your punching bag." My eyes turned on each as I spoke, getting strength and the confidence from Syren with each breathe that entered my lungs. "I don't know what was worse." Shaking my head as if I regretted something, I mainly was putting on a show before I launched myself, grabbing my 'father' by his shirt and snarling in his face. "You were supposed to protect me!" Throwing him down at the same time I aimed a kick in his midsection, he fell with an oomph whooshing from his jaw.

"Whose the bitch now?" I demanded, towering over him. If I had a gun I would have aimed that baby between his eyes and pulled the trigger. Instead, I had something better, more powerful than a gun or a weapon of any kind. I was a weapon. Allowing the change to pass through me, my hands shifted into paws bigger than your average wolf, bones rearranged as I was forced to my hands and knees, a howl emitting from my jaw as my vocals changed along with my face, ears and rest of my body. My 'mother' screamed while my father opened his mouth but no words escaped, I was crazed, insane and ready for the bloodshed. Angling my jaw so it would clamp around his throat, I pushed off with all four paws, grabbing his tender throat and clamping down, and hard. Bones popped, veins split as blood burst forth, spilling into my mouth and the floor, soaking into the carpet. He began choking on his own blood while his lungs collapsed, but I let go, knowing he wouldn't die just yet.

Besides, I wanted my mother, aka Syren, to help. Biting my 'mother' around her leg and pulling at her pants, tugging her body so she had no choice but to be near her husband when she died, I stared up at Syren with blood thirsty eyes. "We finish them, together." Panting, my pink tongue slipped from between my jaws, swallowing the last droplets of blood that was in my mouth from the bite, I twisted my head and body so I was able to rip more chunks from my 'father's arm, his squeals of pain delighted me, he was the one getting hurt, not I! Dancing on my paws, I didn't bother checking out what my 'mothers' wounds were, especially when I pulled her from her seat, but she would die alongside her husband, watching his pain before her own. Payback for what she did to me, ignore me while the abuse happened, never sticking up for me. Well guess what? Payback is a bitch. Snarling in his face, I kept ripping chunks of his flesh almost losing myself in the frenzy.

[Syren Loup Garou]

Amanda walked a delicate balance, now more than ever. She was between the change, neither wolf, nor human, and not the hybrid brought by the Munin. And yet she was so very strong. None in the clan had seen me in this light before. I was the mother of them all, after a fashion, a protector and leader. I was kind and loving, caring about every last Loup Garou. But here, now, I was vengence. On behalf of the child that was once lost to me, and now with me once more. I was not ashamed to have Amanda witness me at my worst. She alone would know that I too held a monster inside. Hatred, rage, burning in my eyes, a look rarely bestowed upon any but our enemies. These people, her 'parents' deserved my wrath. What's more, they deserved Amanda's. Hell itself would open up to claim them, and we would deliver them to it's jaws, by fang and claw.

Her hand stayed firmly in mine as we entered the hallway, retracing the path back to the horrid beings who cared little for Amanda, the waste of parentage. As if she read my mind, she delivered stinging words with precision, each sentance cutting as deep as any mortal wound. Truth can be as sharp as any knife, if weilded correctly. She spared them nothing, voicing for the first time how wrong they'd been. Showing the strength of character she held within. In this moment, I was so very proud of her. Her hand slipped from mine as she lunged on her 'father'. She allowed herself to transform, her 'mother' screaming as her partner lay gasping.

As Amanda drug her 'mother' to join her 'father', I broke my silence. "This ends now. Amanda will heal, when you've gone to rest in the bowels of the pit. Know that your actions have brought about your own end." With that said, Amanda went for the man's throat, tearing into it. The scent of his blood being shed ignited my anger, spurred me on. Still holding the power of the Munin, I allowed part of the change to take me. Hands grew, fingers curving into massive claws. Fangs lined my mouth as my canines protruded. Even my eyes shown with the light of the wolf. Amanda's gaze found mine, and I nodded in response. "Together it is." As she tore into the man she once called father, I knelt over the woman. I was not ashamed to be naked, to send them to their deaths, or to shed their blood. In fact, I craved to bathe in it.

Amanda was inflicting great pain on her 'father', rending hunks from his flesh. Balling up my clawed fist, I struck her 'mother', the satisfying crunch of cartlidge and bone as I shattered her nose, blood pouring down her face. "You are unfit to call yourself mother. Now you are mother to none." I back handed her, the blood from her ruined face splattering across her husband. She turned fearful eyes back to me, her voice a harsh whisper as she pleaded and apologized. "You have no remorse. You speak only lies." I drove my claws into her belly, my hand reaching up through her ribcage where I grasped her heart, holding the frantically beating muscle in the palm of my hand. "And you truly have no heart." In one swift motion, I tore her heart from her body, and brought the bloodied meat to my mouth.

It was warm, soft, and quivering as I put my lips to the organ, teeth finding easy purchase as I bit down. Heart's blood gushed into my mouth, a pure and delicate rush as I swallowed convulsively. Tossing away the meat, I reached for the woman's body, dragging her upright with a hand wrapped about her neck. Pulling her form close to me, cradling her back against my chest, I wrapped both hands around her head and twisted once, viciously. A resounding SNAP echoed through the room as I broke her spine. Twisting violently the other direction, I pulled her head clean from her body, the later falling lifeless at my feet.

I knelt down, leveling my face to that of Amanda's 'father', still grasping her 'mother's' head in one hand, held by her hair. The light of life was fading from his eyes, but he wasn't dead just yet. I held up my trophy, forcing him to look at what had become of his wife. "Give us a good night kiss." He had enough breath left to scream as I angled the bloody head toward him, pressing the pallid face against his lips, smearing his wife's blood along his face. He attempted to thrash, but had lost much blood and had no fight left in him. Dropping the head to the floor, I stood, letting my hands fade back to human as I looked down on him. My blood-soaked hand ran through Amanda's fur as she swallowed another hunk of his flesh. I gave her a pat on the rump seconds before she delivered the killing blow.

When both lay dead at our hands, I sat on the floor, uncaring about the small shards of glass that cut into my shins as I knelt. I beckoned Amanda to me and held her in her wolf form, hands stroking her sleek fur. The blood was quickly drying on my hands, while deeper crimson stains began to matt her fur. Pulling my fingers gently over those areas, I untangled the fur enough so that it wouldn't matt further and cause her discomfort as if pulled against her skin. Rubbing my cheek along hers, I whispered soothingly to her. "It's over now, my darling. They can never harm you again. By thought, word, or deed. For they are dead." I kissed her nose, then stood, making my way to the sink. The water was cool as I washed the blood from my hands. I took a dishrag from nearby and dampened it, turning back to Amanda and rubbing the wet cloth over her fur. Getting the worst of the blood off her coat, I tossed the rag away, ran my hands over Amanda once more, and let myself transform into the white wolf. I bumped her chin with my muzzle, smiling proudly at her. "You showed great strength. I am proud to call you my daughter, now and always." Tears formed in my eyes as I licked her face. We'd done what we came to do. And now, Amanda could begin to heal the wounds she carried inside her and had for so long.

[Amanda Loup Garou]

My fangs scraped along bone, a resounding howl of pure agony lanced from his jaws, spurring me onwards as I gnawed and chewed, bits of flesh and blood stuck to my own jaw, dripping down my neck and matting up the thinner fur around my throat. It tickled and itched, moving my head to try and scratch didn't help, and there was no way I was using my back leg like what animals do. I was already comfortable in a place above my 'father' doing that would have altered my balance and made me slip. So I had to live with it, the slight growls and yips coming from my vocals was enough for my annoyances and frustrations to be vented outwards, the sounds muffled and slightly more snarly than it meant to be as I was doing that around flesh and bone. His flesh tasted like heaven, especially knowing it hurt him, like he had hurt me. I would spare him no pain, he would suffer, I would make him suffer! He would cause no one anymore pain or hurt, his life ended now, by my paw!

I paused in my chewing, his tears staining his cheeks, the salty tang in the air made my face scrunch up, looking rather comical despite the situation we were in. I listened to my mother talking, a smile feeling itself upon my maw, fangs glistening red with blood. "I denounce the name you gave me. I am not Amanda Young anymore, but Amanda Loup Garou." Breaking that tie, it was like breaking free from being chained, with such a wave of pure, vivid energy hitting my system, jolting me further into my senses. For a wild moment, everything was sharper, the blood more pungent, more crimson with a strange glow, the frantic heartbeat was irregular, a couple of quick thumps, then a long, drawn out thump, taking a moment to realize it was his heart struggling to keep him alive. The world was awash in such beauty, and yet at the same time, such darkness. I wasn't talking about the two humans, no, they were different, apart from my real mother who stood, and for the first time, I saw something that made me no longer ashamed of who and what I was.

Bathed in darkness, part of Syren was part of me, the eternal, struggling dark part of ourselves, locked away from the world to see. I saw it so deeply, even without my super senses to detect it, I would have known. Such hatred and fury with a thirst for violence, even the edges of her body was dark, a fuzzy tiny that displayed so much power. Syren was not evil, I knew that. But we both had darker pieces to ourselves, like she had spoken to me earlier yet I refused to believe it. Until now. Now I knew where that small part of me came from, the white pieces in my fur a testament. My trust, my love, and my respect for my mother heightened considerably, while my jaw opened in awe as she lay waste to my so called mother, the Young woman's heart being ripped from her body, a cruel wolf smile upon my face and light in my eyes as I turned back to my father, not wanting to ruin a good thing I had going.

Syren WAS my mother and not just because the munin and everyone said so. I felt closer to her, a more kinship, and it was helping me deal. I may not be the perfect daughter, that mattered little anymore. I found my true self. "I'm sorry." He muttered, gaining my attention again while I angled my head to stare at him, a sneer lining my cruel, wolf face. "Shut the fuck up. You are not sorry, you never were sorry. Don't speak." I placed a paw over his lips while he mumbled words incoherently, which sparked my anger further, "you don't have the right to speak. You hear me? You fucking hear me? Shut the fuck up. Or I'll rip your fucking throat out." Glaring at him, I placed one back foot on his stomach, twisting my claws in his soft flesh, and bless his heart, he was staying silent, or as silent as he could. Muffled gasps of pain escaped his lips, just as my head lowered, fangs piercing through flesh and spilling more blood, coating my fur in the crimson goo.

With several lines of blood oozing out, that was when he cried and that was when I started lapping up the blood, pressing both front paws on his belly to push more blood outwards in my open jaw. "Stop it, please, stop it. Stop." His words were getting jumbled and slower, meaning he was slowly slipping into the void, good for me, bad for him. "I thought I told you to shut UP!" I snapped biting his flesh and making him scream. Almost cackling, I drove one paw into his stomach, pressing down upon his intestines, my nails ripping through the organs, making me dance both around his dying form and on his frame, making him feel as much pain and agony as I could. Then I began eating his flesh again, chewing what I could as I lapped blood, crunched bone and chewed through flesh, my head at his arm again. Biting off each finger, those hands that caused others so much hurt, it was fitting. At least to me it was, and I didn't stop till each one was nothing but stumps.

Syren was by my side, I almost didn't feel that it was her, so lost in this fury of blood, lowering 'mothers' head as he screamed while looking at her destroyed facade, their blood mingling before I finally got sick and tired of his voice and aimed the killing blow at this throat. Clamping down again, pulling and tearing violently, I snapped his neck and the top part of his spine. My thrashing was so violent that his spine snapped in several places with a sharp sound crack, his eyes finally lifeless while his form was heavy, literally dead weight. I panted as the adrenaline left my body, standing with back claws still in his stomach, sliding in his flesh, staring down at him feeling proud and relieved at the fact. He was gone, gone and nothing would bring him back. Him and that bitch could do no more harm on this earth, and it felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders as I stared with discontent at the dead human that was once my father. No more. Cole, he was my father. He was, my father.

Lifting my back legs from his stomach, I padded over to my mother, leaving bloody paw prints on the already bloody carpet, taking a seat with tail wagging to and fro in a matter of seconds. I still couldn't believe Syren was more like me than I thought, and instinct drove my next actions. While she patted my fur, her fingers entwining the mix of colors, untangling the bloody matted fur in areas which caused me to twitch slightly, I pressed my nose against her frame, digging my head into her body while I tried to hug her, wolf style, whimpering against hand while she carried on untangling fur. "I am glad. They did not deserve to live. Thank you, for being here to help me." Moving away so Syren could stand, hearing the faint rush of water as my eyes widened almost like a pups would with thoughts of bath time, my paws pranced along the carpet, virtually leaping over the dead bodies. "You are, just like me." I mused as she cleaned my fur with the wet rag, and boy was it cold!

Shivering slightly and yipping in protest, rather puppy like, Syren transformed into her own wolf form and I pressed my body against hers again, tired and worn out from the whole day. "That means so much to me mother. And I and proud to call you mom. You ARE my mother, just as Cole is my father. And I am truly glad." Snuggling more into her white fur, I nipped at her ear, trying not to let my emotions overwhelm me to the point of breaking down. Instead I took off down the hallway, spotting the bag and the few possessions I cared for, including the teddy bear(laugh and I'll rip your face off), gripping that in my jaw, I moved back down the hallway, eager to get out and go home. "Let us go home?" I whimpered, darting over the floor and smashing through the door that was sharp enough to slice through my sides if I had gotten close enough. The air was cleaner than I remembered, washing over my body with such grace. Turning to face Syren, I repeated the words, "I never knew how much you were like me. The darkness." I felt closer to her now than ever before. Because of that. And I knew now, without anymore doubts, that I was able to trust her.